Further Shoe-Flingings and Other Randomness

As some of you may recall, back at the beginning of February, I alerted you to the growing danger presented by your shoes. Alas, my warnings went unheeded, and now, someone else has almost fallen victim to flying footwear. Thursday, a slipper was hurled at a prime ministerial candidate, who managed to artfully dodge the projectile, avoiding untold injury and damages.

Sarcasm aside, there are two things that immediately spring to mind upon reading that people are forced to remove their shoes before attending speeches, and that protective nets are being considered:

  1. Indian politicians have it pretty good if their biggest concern is having a slipper thrown at them.
  2. It could be a sign that you’re considered something of a blight upon your constituency when you can’t be seen in public without becoming a target. Maybe, just maybe, if they stopped making the people so damned angry in the first place…

    Yes, for our purposes, this baby censors himself, and watches Battlestar Galactica.

    "Campaign finance reform!? You dirty, frakking son of a bitch! If I had bigger shoes, I swear to the Gods I'd cave your lying skull!"

  3. If they do put up protective nets, I’m imagining that press conferences will become like like really bad dive bars (where the band plays behind a cage, to prevent the hurled beer bottles from hitting them), and eventually, it will become completely commonplace to have shoes launched at you during a public appearance.

Ok, so that’s three things, but, come on. We’d all watch a lot more CSPAN if there was a large audience hupping shoes at the person speaking during every political meeting or announcement.

My favorite part of the article is where it elucidates that, and I quote:

“Throwing a shoe at someone is considered an insult in India.”

Since you felt it necessary to clear that up… out of curiosity; where, exactly, is the average person not offended when shoes are flung at them? Who is sitting at home, reading this article, frustratedly thinking, “Am I missing something? What’s the big deal? I wish someone would throw a shoe at me from time to time!”

Now, I’ll grant that there are some interesting customs involving things being thrown:

  • Valencia’s Tomato Fight (Be warned, the photos look something like a ketchup fetishist orgy. (I hope such a thing doesn’t exist. (Yes, I just nested brackets. If it’s good enough for math, it’s good enough for me.)))
  • Detroit Redwings fans, and their squid. (That’s singular and plural, right? Like “deer?”)
  • The Scottish Caber Toss (A.K.A. “We’re virile, hammered, and bored shitless!”)

…but I’ve never heard of anyone, anywhere being flattered, impressed, or otherwise positively reacting to being on the business end of a flying shoe.

Yes, jubblies.

Not just for pokin' jubblies and tearing shirts!

And now for something completely different! In other news: forget kevlar weaves, this woman’s bra stopped a bullet. Well, specifically, the underwire in her bra deflected a bullet after it travelled across the street and went through her window, but still. Just so we’re clear, a small component of women’s underwear, known mostly for being an annoyance and having a marked vulnerability to washers/dryers, prevented a bullet from causing a fifty-seven year old woman to have a distinctly unpleasant night.Vegas odds on that scenario actually playing out are pretty steep.

Finally, while I’ve got you here, I’ve got a little random tidbit to share.

When I first log in to WordPress, I’m greeted by a page of statistics. Riveting, yes?

Well, it includes such tidbits as what links have been visited, what pages get the most traffic, and most importantly at the moment; what search terms have lead people here, to this small, dark corner of the internet. Parsing through search terms almost always yields at least some tiny bits of hilarity, as I’ve previously discovered from the Valentino homepage statistics.

Anyway, what really grabbed my attention by the short hairs, so to speak, was that someone got to this page by searching “Bob Dylan interview 2008.” I honestly have no idea how this is possible, as those words don’t exist anywhere on this site. I even tried that search term in WordPress to see what page of the results I was on, but gave up after twelve. Once again, the internet manages to confuse and amaze me.

Now, for my amusement, and to see what random search traffic I can attract; Moonpie dachshund iceberg tarp.

Courtesy of our amazing Photoshop department.

Artist's (to use the term loosely) rendering.

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~ by tazehim on April 24, 2009.

4 Responses to “Further Shoe-Flingings and Other Randomness”

  1. I like to imagine Colonel Tigh actually speaking the caption under the angry baby. It really adds to the effect.

  2. Also: I’d like to note that I wrote that comment BEFORE I read your tags.

  3. I like to imagine the baby with an eye patch and a bottle of hooch.

    Huh. Out of context, that sounds absolutely awful.

  4. […] In the past month, I’ve received multiple search engine hits for “moonpie dachshund.” The internet never ceases to amaze […]

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